Ribbons
by wickedmusicallover095
Summary: House notices something is off with Cameron and the next day she's brought in as a patient having been found unconscious in her kitchen. When she refuses to be examined and other tests her colleagues know something is wrong. Will she run out of time before they find out what's wrong with her? Takes place mid season 2.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Dr. Allison Cameron pulled her shirt back down after examining two new bruises that had formed on her abdomen. She returned to the conference room as House was going on about new symptoms that had shown up with their recent patient. He glanced at her as she sat down, then told her to stay after Chase and Foreman left to do more tests.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"What?"

"You were in pain when you sat down, you really need to learn to control your facial expressions."

"I'm fine, just a bruise, nothing major," she said getting up to leave. He grabbed her arm preventing her to leave.

"House, I'm fine. Just drop it," she said tearing her arm away from his grasp. She went to her work and they ended up diagnosing the patient before the day was up. She still ended up doing all the paperwork as House had told her. He kept a close eye on her throughout the entire process. He noticed she looked tired. He noticed about how she had moved her arms, he had a feeling they were bruised as well. He noticed she looked thinner. Instead of mentioning any of this he brought up her breasts. Her face reddened, a color of mixture of anger and fear at the comment.

"You don't look pregnant," he said.

"That's because I'm not!" she said furiously then stormed out. Upon arriving home Cameron went to the restroom and grabbed a half empty bottle of pills. She took one and went to sleep. Instead of leaving the bottle at home she planned to stash it in her purse the following morning. She knew though that she had to be careful around House. She opened the pill bottle and filled her water bottle.

She dropped the bottle the contents spilling onto the floor and clutched the counter for support. The pain had become too much and the dizziness wasn't helping either. She reached for the pill bottle, knowing not to swallow the pill dry, and ended tipping it over. The next thing she heard was Chase's voice.

* * *

House noticed Cameron's empty seat that morning when he arrived.

"Where's Cameron?" he asked.

"She's late, House she's allowed to be late just once. You are," Foreman said, "All the time."

"I'm not Cameron. I have no use of you so far today, you can leave. Chase head to Cameron's apartment in ten minutes if she's not here." Chase, per House's orders, ended up going to Cameron's. When she didn't answer he used the key House had given to him.

"Cameron are you-," but he didn't finish his question seeing her passed out on her kitchen floor. There was a pool of water around her and several pills not far from where she lied.

"Cameron? Cameron, I need you to wake up," he said, "Allison." Here eyes fluttered open and she looked up into Chase's eyes. He smiled, slightly relieved.

"What happened?"

"Slipped," she lied getting up with Chase's help. He kept his arm around her, refusing to let her back away and pass out again.

"Sure you did," he said, "You are going to the hospital and not to work."

"I'm fine Chase, really-," but she started to stumble as they were headed toward the front door. In one swift movement Chase picked up Cameron, like a bride and left the apartment. Normally Cameron would have argued, but she didn't have the energy and this worried her colleague. He buckled her into the passenger's seat and sped off to their place of work. He dialed House and was surprised he answered.

"I have to answer the phone because Cameron isn't here. Are you on your way?" he was irritated, "Does she have a hangover? Or did she just not want to come in today?"

"Get a bed open, we have a new case," Chase said snapping his phone shut.

"I'm fine," Cameron said attempting to argue, "I don't need to be checked in."

"I found you passed out on your kitchen floor, like hell you're fine," Chase said as they arrived in the hospital parking lot. He parked in front of the entrance and opened the passenger door only to step back as Cameron emptied the contents of her stomach. She rested her head in her hands as Chase gently picked her and realized she was clutching to his shirt. He shooed away the wheelchair that a nurse had brought out. He was greeted by Cuddy and House when he entered.

"She has a fever, I don't know how high," Chase said, "Where's the room you have set up?" Thirty minutes later Cameron was hooked up to a heart monitor, oxygen, and her blood had been taken.

"I can breathe fine," Cameron said pulling at the tube going across her face. She was sitting up, refusing any help. Cuddy had gone to her office displeased with the fellow and to look up what she could find on Dr. Allison Cameron's medical history.

"Fine, you don't want our help," House said, "Perfectly fine, Chase, Foreman let's go." Cameron was relieved to be left alone but it only lasted for a moment. House had sent Chase and Foreman to analyze her blood and to go to Cameron's apartment. He returned to Cameron's room, she was sitting up. He stood next to her bed looking at her. He didn't know what she had or how sick she was. Not long ago she had been fairly motionless; numb. Now she was responsive, the Cameron House knew.

"How long have you been sick?" he asked.

"I didn't think you cared about a patient's history," Cameron said.

"That's normally your job but since you can't be a doctor on your own case, someone has to do it. So, where are your bruises since you refuse to let us examine you." She clutched the blanket that she was under then turned to her side, away from him. House then grabbed her arms and shifted her onto her back.

"House, House let me-," she stopped struggling and squeezed her eyes shut going limp. He let her go and her arms flew to her abdomen. Her heart beat increased and House lowered the bed. She started to tell him to go away, but it came out quick, in short breaths. He gave her 5mg of Ativan, not sure what was wrong. The pain seemed to soon subside and Cameron refused to look at House. She felt fear and shame and her position right now. She wasn't a doctor in this moment but a weak, dying patient. The Ativan hadn't helped the pain, it just numbed her unlike what her prescription would have done. She knew House had sent Chase and Foreman to her apartment. How Chase had gotten in she didn't know. She knew they'd find her drugs. They'd find them in her system, and other 'symptoms' in her blood. He spoke her name but his voice was distant as she was consumed by her thoughts.

"Just go," she said tears forming in her eyes. He moved the oxygen tub up to her nose which she had moved around her neck. Then she heard the familiar tap of his cane as he left her room before she let out soft sobs.

 _A/N: This is my first go at writing a House M.D. Fanfic. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. Please review if you'd like more. Thanks. -K_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

House and the Foreman were in the conference room looking at the white board. House had scribbled down symptoms:

\- Moodiness

\- Bruising

\- Pain

\- Weight Loss

\- Exhaustion

"When is Chase supposed to get back?" House asked capping the marker, "And the blood tests won't be back until the morning. Once we find out what Chase has found we'll do an MRI."

"She wouldn't even let us examine her House," Foreman said, "What makes you think she'll allow us to do an MRI?"

"That's your problem, why don't you go and convince her." Foreman left to see Cameron. He looked into her room to see her speaking on her cell phone.

"I told you, I don't want anything for it. Just the drugs you prescribed three weeks ago." She paused listening to the person on the other end of the conversation.

"I have to get back to work," she lied, "I'll talk to you later." Foreman entered the room asking who she was talking to. She said a friend then asked him why he was there.

"House wants you to get an MRI," Foreman said and he saw her tense.

"No, I'm not getting one," Cameron said.

"Didn't think so, why not?"

"I have my reasons," she said pinching her eyes shut and letting out a groan of pain. She curled into a ball.

"We're getting that MRI," Foreman said though House had wanted to wait. He pulled up the railings on her bed and she uncurled from her ball to sit up.

"No!" she cried trying to push him away.

"Cameron, this will help," he said.

"No! I don't want it," she cried softly pounding his chest.

"Dr. Foreman," Cuddy said entering the room. He released Cameron but she continued to cry even after he left.

"Allison," Cuddy said in a gentle tone. She sat on her bed in front of the crying brunette. House had called her a bad doctor, but House wouldn't have been able to calm Cameron down.

"What's going on?" she asked handing her tissues, "What's the matter? Why did Dr. Chase find you passed out?"

"I'm dying," she said then gave a laugh, "There's no point in me being a patient- no point in examinations, MRIs, or blood work because I already know what I have. And before you ask, I'm not going to tell you. I- I haven't even told my parents." She lied back closing her eyes.

"Please, Allison, I know you. You wouldn't just give up. You know better not to refuse help. You know we can help." She gave Cuddy a small smile and told her that they couldn't help, that she was too far gone. For the next twenty minutes Cuddy argued with her that she should receive help and Cameron caved agreeing to let her do an examination.

She asked where the pain was in which she replied it was mainly her abdomen. Cuddy had her remove the gown she was wearing. There were dark purple bruises littering her lower abdomen along with a fresh line of stitches. And though Cuddy's touch was gentle Cameron still had tears of pain drip down her cheeks. She marked it down in the chart and then had her step on a scale. She checked her temperature and then Cameron started tugging at her hair. When Cuddy went to stop her, Cameron had chunks of hair in her fists. When her boss looked at her, she showed no sign of surprise, no shock, no sadness at her hair loss. She casually tossed it in the trash can and shrugged.

"I'm used to it," she said yawning, "This is exhausting."

"We've barely even started," House said showing up in the doorway, "So you have hair loss now. Chase is on his way back. Seems like we have another doctor addicted to narcotics Cuddy." He smirked at Cameron who only narrowed her eyes. She then pleadingly looked to Cuddy.

"It's not what you think, really." Her eyes were wide with fear.

"That's why you didn't want us to test your blood," House said, "Because it's filled with oxycodone." He stepped into the room.

"Since Foreman is too much of a chicken to analyze your blood, I will do it," he said and Cuddy got in his way.

"Did that bottle of oxycodone perchance have a label on it? One with another doctor's name? It's been prescribed I assume. Dr. Cameron isn't one to steal medicine of another patient's."

"It has been prescribed but she blacked out their name. She knew she'd be found out. Cameron, I've ordered an MRI, CT, a blood test, and after those there are many others coming your way unless you speak up. Who prescribed that oxycodone?"

"Sorry, House you aren't going to solve this puzzle," Cameron said softly closing her eyes.

"Damn it House!" Cuddy said, "I was close to getting the blood myself." She walked away from House carrying Cameron's chart with her to look at in her office. House gave one last glance at the brunette and limped out of the room.

As Cameron fell asleep she remembered seeing her doctor to get the prescription.

 _"It's stage IV, more severe than last time," he said._

 _"Chemo isn't going to work," Cameron said, "Tumor is too big for surgery I bet but you can open me up. Anything to get me back home." Twenty Four hours later Cameron sat in her bed packing her stuff as she had already changed._

 _"Let me guess, to big to take out?"_

 _"I'm sorry Alison," he said, "There are clinical trials."_

 _"They won't work, I'm too far gone. You know it, I know it, it's not going to change anything. Might shrink it a little, give me a bit more time but I'll be in pain. Won't be able to work, that's a huge part of my life."_

 _"Alison, there's always a chance-"_

 _"Yeah, well I was lucky last time. I'm not going to get lucky twice. I think I'll just wait this one out. I don't want to fight this again."_

 _"I can write you a medication for oxycodone. Stick to the dosage please," he said scribbling on a pad, "I want to hear from you twice a week understand?"_

 _"Thanks for sticking with me till the end." The she left. He called her everyday. Each day he described a different trial. He went into length, about side effects and successes. He tried to convince her, he had wanted to make her stay, even had her sign an AMA form. She had called him asking for a refill._

 _"I can get you in, you can choose which hospital you want to stay at. It involves chemotherapy and-"_

 _"I told you-"_

 _"Alison, there's a chance- a high chance that-"_

 _"I know besides it doesn't matter, its' gone. Look I told you I don't want anything for it..."_

* * *

 _A/N: That's it for this chapter! I'll try harder to get a chapter out next Sunday. Please review! Thanks so much! -K_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

They didn't know what was wrong. They could have sent someone to find out my history but that was my job. Cuddy was trying to fill those shoes but I wasn't giving her anything. Patients lie, House always says and he's right because that's exactly what I was doing. I couldn't stop my symptoms from showing but I could fake some. Yes I'd be treated like a normal patient and given various types of medicine that might make my condition worse but I didn't want them to figure it out. I didn't want to be just another puzzle to solve.

I hadn't allowed them to do a proper examination. My symptoms were painfully obvious and my oxy had been found. It had been prescribed but for all they knew I was addicted. If they were to take me off of it, I'd feel a lot more pain. I lost track of how many hours passed by as I sat alone after I woke up. I didn't know how much progress had been made for my case. They had taken my blood, that much I knew. Cuddy eventually came in and sat next me, I turned my head to look at her, still lying down.

"House thinks this can be chalked up to an addiction to oxy," she said, "Is he right?"

"I'm not addicted, not like him, but I do need it."

"Because you believe you're in pain or because you are?"

"I'm in pain, the- the disease I have does cause a lot of pain. The drugs are prescribed not because I want them. I don't want what I have right now. I want it gone but that's not happening."

"Because you don't want the treatment?"

"I don't, not again," I said, "I'm tired of it. Besides it wouldn't work."

"What wouldn't work?"

"If I told you I'd receive it. House would make sure of it."

"You're right but until then he'll try everything else until you are diagnosed or healthy."

"He'll be too late. You all will be too late," I said letting out a series of coughs. Cuddy sat me up and rubbed my back. She pushed the bedrails down and sat behind me. Had I been any other patient she wouldn't have dared done it.

"Cameron, please," she said.

"I'm right about this choice," I said, "I'm right."

"The choice of you wanting to die? Cameron, I know you. You don't want to die."

"You know certain aspects about me. About my life. Why do you think I can connect to patients so easily? Because I've been one, sitting on an examination table, going through an MRI, and having my blood taken several times, I've been called an addict, a child, pathetic, lucky that I got a disease that was curable. What I wasn't told was the chance of it recurring. Or if I was, I don't remember, I had a lot on my mind like if I was going to live or die. It took them ages to even find out what was wrong with me. Then it came back, I got treatment and lived. I thought it was gone for good. I thought this is it, I don't have to deal with it anymore. Then a few weeks ago I started having symptoms but I didn't think much of it. When they started getting worse, I knew." I was crying now but I hadn't noticed until Cuddy handed me a tissue.

"This can all end once we know what you have, you can receive treatment and-"

"It'll come back," I said sniffling, "I'm sorry. I'm being a shitty patient but I can't." She sighed and left. I heard her outside arguing with House. I wasn't sure what it was about but I guessed my supposed Oxy addiction. I didn't want to talk anymore, didn't want to argue or help myself. I was tired, I was exhausted. The past month had been tiring. The oxy helped but not like it wanted. I thought I'd be gone already, that I'd slip away not that I'd pass out and be found by Chase. I didn't want to become another puzzle, another patient.

Instead of going back to sleep and deal with the pain I got up and walked around. I shouldn't have but I did and received a call from my doctor in Chicago. Once more I argued with him, stating I didn't want treatment, that I just wanted to go and that I was capable of making that decision.

"Why do you want to die all of a sudden?" House asked sitting next to me, making me jump.

"That's against hospital policy by the way," he said taking my phone before I could answer.

"I don't want to die all of a sudden but I don't have much of a choice. It's that or go through more pain."

"Considering you've been taking oxy it seems like you're already in pain. For a while I thought you actually had a bun in the oven. You and Chase did have sex but I don't think so anymore. Not after finding the oxy. Won't know much more until your blood work comes back. Or you know, you could give us some patient history."

"That's not happening House," I said getting up and stumbling.

* * *

House caught Cameron as she fell and called for a nurse. He didn't know why she had passed out and wish he did. After she was stabilized he went through her phone and called the previous number. He was a doctor, House didn't bother memorizing his name because of hearing the first thing come out of his mouth.

"Have you changed your mind Alison? I can get the chemo started quickly, getting you into the trial won't be hard."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Chemo?" House asked.

"This isn't Allison," the doctor on the other line said.

"Obviously not, I'm Dr. Gregory House. I'm her doctor at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. She was found passed out at her apartment by a coworker. There was an empty bottle of Oxycontin found on her counter. She's currently experiencing moodiness, bruising, abdominal pain, weight loss, exhaustion and hair loss. But her symptoms don't really matter do they? She's refused an MRI, a CT, and blood testing but we took her blood anyway. She seems to know what she has but won't tell us. I'm assuming by the fact that you mention chemo and a trial she has cancer or at least you know what she has."

"I cannot share her diagnoses with you. She has refused treatment and I need to respect her wishes as much as I wish for her to receive treatment. She has asked me to not disclose her diagnoses with any other doctor or her family. I'm sorry Dr. House." And with that he hung up leaving House furious. He thought of storming into Cameron's room and demanding she tell him what she had but he didn't. He returned to his office attempting once more to figure out what she had. He knew from Cuddy that this was recurring. Cameron had lied on her medical records. She noted she had had surgery but told House they were for an appendix and one for her right wrist. He hadn't thought she was lying at all because she was Cameron. He knew now she had been as she was now because she was a patient and patients lied.

Though her blood test had been rushed they still hadn't received the results. So instead he sent Chase to speak with Cameron as Foreman had failed. Chase entered Cameron's room and sat next to her. She gave him a small smile and sat up.

"That was a pretty nasty fall you had earlier," he said clearly remembering her unconscious in her kitchen.

"Are you talking about an hour ago or this morning?"

"I didn't think you were breathing Allison," he said grabbing her hand, "You're dying, you said you were dying."

"I am, yeah but I have time left. Enough time anyway."

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"I'm- I can't tell you but I want to, I do."

"Allison, please," he said, "Please let us help you."

"I'm going to die anyway, we all will. I'm just going to be leaving sooner than you. But don't worry you'll remember me. A piece of me will be here."

"Allison, don't talk like this."

"It's true though. You just have to accept that I'm dying, you all do." She reached to stroke his cheek recalling their night together. He held her hand against his face, lacing their fingers together.

"This isn't you Allison," he said.

"But it is, it's just not a side I let any of of you see. That I don't let anyone see. I'm not weak, please don't think I am," she said and he noticed the pain she was in, had noticed it since he brought her in.

"I would never think you're weak. You aren't weak. You can fight this, you can beat this. Just try. Tell us before House has us try every drug known to man on you."

"I'll give you a hint. To figure out what's wrong you'll need to do a-" before Cameron could finish she started to vomit. She was leaning over the bed, puking into the trash can. Chase brought the trash can closer and he noticed bits of blood or what looked like blood. He placed the trash can down and sat next to Cameron as she pulled her knees to her chest.

"Alison," he said softly.

"I'm sorry," she said leaning into Chase. He wrapped his arms around her as if he could heal her simply by touch. Chase left as Cameron seemed to fall asleep to report to House who had been watching outside her room. Unknown to them Cameron hadn't fallen asleep. She stared at nothing into particular in her room.

"You're not supposed to be here," Cameron said.

"I know."

"But I'm glad you are," she said, "My fever must be really bad."

"You should let them help you."

"I miss you."

"Allison."

"I know, I can't come really be with you or whatever yet right? Well it's not your choice is it?"

"You don't have to do this."

"Weren't you tired though?"

"I would have wanted to live, you know that. I wanted a life, a family, you." Cameron smiled through her tears.

"I wanted a life with you too."

"Then why marry me? You knew I was terminal."

"I loved you. I still do."

"Why else?"

"No one deserves to die alone," she said.

"You don't?"

"I was planning to slip away without them noticing."

"You work in a hospital. You know that that wasn't going to happen."

"Yeah, it was a stupid of me. But I didn't want this either which I knew was going to happen if I told them when I found out a couple of weeks ago."

"Allison, you can beat this."

"The percentage of my survival with treatment is so low that I might be terminal. The treatment might buy me more time maybe even another year or two but what would be the point?"

"You'd get to spend time with her."

"So it's a her, huh," she said, "So I'd get to fall in love with her only to have to leave."

"You fell in love with me even though I was dying."

"That was different."

"How so? How was it any different?"

"You're my best friend. My husband. I- I already lost you the minute I met you but I fell for you anyway. I let myself love you. I can't do that again. Losing you- it was too hard and I knew- I knew and I-"

"My death wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it is. I'm a doctor. I save lives, but I couldn't save yours."

"It wasn't. I'm dead Allison. I was a dead man walking before you even met me."

"You're not dead, not really. You're here aren't you."

"You're sick, just like I was but there's a chance you'll survive. Live Allison. Live."

Cuddy heard the conversation that Cameron had with the hallucination with her dead husband. She had cried a lot, raised her voice, she knew it was a hallucination but didn't want to accept it. Cuddy even noticed that Cameron had positioned herself after speaking to look like she was lying next to him. Cameron had accepted her death and any hope she had she pushed away.

 _A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review! Thanks- K_


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